I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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