If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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