the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Someone came in the potted fern
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
