I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dicks are not precious.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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