his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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