from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
