If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize