i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
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