I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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