just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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