WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
