At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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