I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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