grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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