I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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