girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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