We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Please don't give away my fajitas
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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