Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
