You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
