One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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