Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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