I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
