It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
