If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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