the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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