You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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