Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
