i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize