Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
