i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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