Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
