She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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