dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
