How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
