Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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