If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
