do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
