This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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