cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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