YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
