your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize