How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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