Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
