he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
