I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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