my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
