i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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