i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
When are your genitals available?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize