Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize