sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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