Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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