Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
