People with herpes should wear stickers.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
