Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
