let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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