She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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