We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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