dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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