And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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