I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
